Right now I feel like past issues are coming back to haunt me. Yeah I am me again, the Alex that everyone loved, that people respected, and could put a grin on your face some years ago. These last couple years though have been one heck of an emotional rollercoaster, one that did not have controls or brakes. The problem is this last summer I had to re-find myself. I was not Alex Dotson this last summer, I was not the unique leader that has been part of my reputation, and I really don’t know who or what I was anymore. All that was there was on the outside someone who looked happy but on the inside was confused, clingy, over-emotional (bottled-in), over-affectionate, and off track. I realized how many opportunities, relationships, and dreams that either slipped or are about to slip out of my grasp because of my past decisions. I don’t think some people realize how hard it is to come to this point and look back. I am not wishing to change the past, everything happens for a reason. Though I think to myself what could have been or what could be if I had made different choices.
To those who helped me through what has happened, those who always had my back, I will always be thankful for you, and you know I will always have yours. To those who might have caught me at a bad time this summer I apologize that you did not know the real me or got a bad impression. Most people really don’t know me or how strong God has really made me and I am definitely not the same person, not anymore. I become stronger by the day, and nothing is going to stop me.
All I can say is that God has put me here for a reason; there is something for me…some kind of plan. One thing is for certain about me, within God’s plan and laws I do whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want. My past might come back to me but it will never again hinder me.
