A Bunch of Broken Toys

“He is the one who looks at me, and sees what I was meant to be-more than just a beautiful mess”- someone amazing, you know who you are ;)
It’s been a while I’ll admit. The thing is I have been writing, just not for anyone’s eyes to see, only my own, sorry. Sometimes I need to write on my own, just to gain some kind of grasp on all of the thoughts that go through my head. Sometimes I need to look and see that there is something to hoping. Hoping that I am becoming more then I was before. More than a broken human, more than a busted dream, more than anything that can be grasped by human minds. Yet God’s mind is greater then ours. He didn’t grasp it but planned it. It is a comfort thinking that God looks down upon me and intends something great. That I am not just some speck of dust, but that there is a purpose, a dream that can be attained. We go through life with so many dreams that fall apart and break into a mess. So many plans that get thrown to the wind in an instant. Yet there is still hope, hope in an Almighty God that has planned from the beginning something great for me, for all of us. If we would just throw down our pride and trust Him. Take His hand and follow. He would lead us into a path of true fulfillment. That we might become something more, something better, something that we were supposed to be from the beginning. I can’t help but feel like a broken toy at some points. That I have fallen off the shelf and am crying out for someone to fix me. The great thing about it is the Toymaker hears my cries and says I will not just fix you, I will polish you up and make you look better then new. How much longer until we can be what we are supposed to? How much longer will it take You to fix me? How much longer until I get to see the Face of my Creator? Until then I wait and undergo repair, becoming more then just a broken mess.

Staring in Awe at the Hand of God

Sunday is a strange yet almost always good day for me, in many ways. On one hand it’s strange because I always learn something new on Sunday. Not to say that I don’t learn on other days, but something inspiring always comes to mind on Sunday. It is what I choose to do with that knowledge, that is the real question. This last Sunday was no different. I was listening to my grandfather’s sermon at church this last Sunday. He is one of two (the other being my father) that I have yet to hear a sermon from where I did not pick up something new. Even from scriptures I had read many times before.
We were talking about the last chapter in Acts. He made a point about how God does not waste and always gives us what we need. To illustrate this he said that God never wastes, for instance the story of the feeding of the five thousand. There were 12 baskets left. Now for the years and years of going over this same story my mind turned. What could I have possibly missed? He then said this, how many disciples were there? It hit me like a rock, twelve disciples, twelve baskets of fish, one monument to God’s provision.
Is there ever a time in your life where you wonder where is God? What is He doing? Or is He really providing, is this what His will is? This point brings up many thoughts to my head. My great grandfather passed away about a month ago. It was depressing for me since he was truly a great example of a Christ follower and truly a great man. The Monday following this event I received a stunning phone call from my father. He said to me something that I will never forget; your grandfather left you an inheritance that no one knew about. Now I knew that for the last couple years I had been trying to come up with ways that I could save for my tuition for my seminary education after college. I wondered if this was really what God wanted for me. I wondered if my college education was really wasted. Was my training for nothing? Was I really called to ministry? I figured out my tuition for four years of seminary would be about $21,000. I found out later how much I had been left, 20 grand. God provides for those who do His will. Just like with the twelve apostles, God provided for me and wasted nothing. God can use every single person, its only a matter of will you accept His provision?
Signed,
The Unsilent Pastor's Kid

Banishing the Villain, Becoming a Hero (part 3): Surrender to be Free

Do you ever find it twisted that we live in a country that is supposedly built on freedom? Walk down the street, look around you, are we really free? Politically maybe but it seems more often than not we are trapped with four walls encasing us, closing in, walls that we ourselves made. No I am not speaking of physical walls, but emotional or even spiritual. We all have imperfections that make us want to wear an unseen mask. Something we put on to hide our brokenness, a persona. Only to find ourselves trapped in something unreal and deceptive. We are the victims of our own devices. True freedom deep down, is not reality for most of us. For deep down we all face our own selves, the picture is not a pretty one. We are like shattered glass trying to pull ourselves back together only to realize we can’t move. We need help; we need to rely on someone else. To gain freedom and wholeness we must, in a sense, surrender. To whom? To God. For who better to pick up the pieces then Someone who does truly know you and still wants you. All your faults and failings do not change His desire for you. His desire is to see you free, free from the prison and chains. True freedom is reliance on a God who will only do what is right, true, and best. Think, if God truly did not love us, why would He waste His time sending His Son down to earth to give us a chance. God does not want to see you imprisoned emotionally, mentally, spiritually. Doubt me, condemn me, do whatever but you can’t deny my witness. I have seen lives changed, I have had the same change personally. I can’t deny what I know as truth no matter how much this culture or the cowards in it want to suppress Christ. Just so you know, when people finally have true freedom, there’s nothing anyone can do to stop it. You can tell us were fools, ridicule us, even physically persecute us. It won’t ever do you any good, we only grow stronger. Why? We have freedom, we don’t have to hide, at least the ones of us who are true believers. I leave it to you, God’s will has a place, a great place made especially for you. You personally. Take the plunge or reject it do what you think you want. You make your own bed, or your own mirror that is. A mirror of completeness and freedom, or one that just lies on the floor broken and deserted.

Last part coming soon…

PS- I find it interesting that people who don’t believe in God want to blame Him for everything that goes wrong in the world (disasters, hunger, etc.). Make up your mind either He exists and you hate Him, or He doesn’t which in that case grow up and do something.
Another thing, for those who ask the question why would a loving God send people to Hell? I pose a question, how can a just God let people into heaven? Think about that one.

Banishing the Villain, Becoming the Hero (part 2): A Hard Look in the Mirror

Find a mirror, take a good look. Look past the beauty that God has put into your outward appearances. Those looks, while they are very good, do not make you who you are. Look deep, right down into the depths of your being, your mind, your very soul. In Scripture it says we are corrupted beings, that we were once good but now are full of evil. So let me ask you, do you like what you see? Do you feel it deep inside you, the corruption, the dilution, the disease that is always fatal? It changes you, enslaves you, and breaks you. Sin is villainy. You are a villain through every action that flies in the face of all that is good, of all that is Godly. I know this might be offensive to some, but some things are a lot more important then worrying about who is offended. Don’t try to ask me, who are you to make such assumptions or accusations. I know Who is backing me, I have seen Him, and I have been right where each and everyone is either standing or stood. I know the pain, the anger, the hatred. I also know the truth, the entire human race is doomed to die, and that truth is an unfortunate inevitability that we all must face. It has been caused by the fact that deep down all of you and I know, we are all villains. We are all attracted to rebellion and evil. I also know the truth that there is hope, as bleak as it seems the light is always stronger. We might be doomed in this world, but it does not have to end that way. There is a hope, a chance to break out of our chains, a light that can overcome the villain persona that we all have. A chance for Someone to mold us into a hero. The question is do you really want to be free?

Stay tuned…

Preston Newby: Personified Heroism

The last two weeks have been probably some of the hardest two weeks I have ever been through. I have had a moment of clarity though and thought this is probably a good time to clear up and speak. One of my mentors, teacher, youth pastor, and good friend was killed helping someone in a tragic accident (http://www.lakeoswegoreview.com/news/story.php?story_id=122169250967465300). Preston lived his life for Christ and died a hero that was molded by the One he lived for. I mourn greatly for many reasons, for a family that lost someone they loved, for his friends that lost someone who was closer than a brother, for his church who lost a great leader and example. Do not weep for Preston, I can not even fathom the joy he is experiencing right now with Jesus. Weep for those that have lost, for those that knew him and those who never got the chance. For those that knew him, as hard as this is and will be, we have to move forward and Preston will never be forgotten. His legacy will be honored through the steps we now take, Preston lived for Jesus and looked to Him and His Word for direction let us all do the same. One of our leaders is in heaven now, we look to the leaders who worked with him to give us direction. I am confident in their leadership and know that God is with them as He was with Preston. The spirit of what Preston's life was about, the very Spirit of God that he followed will never leave us. We can make it, I don't know how, but I know we can. Its what Preston would have wanted, its what Christ our Savior wants from us. For those of you who tragically never met Preston, I cannot begin to tell you what an example he was. Christ was first in his life, that always showed up in his actions, his joy, in his life. He loved his family more then anything, it made him so happy to spend time with them. He cared for his friends, he was always real with us, and could always bring a smile to our faces. There are so many things I could tell you, all good, nothing bad. I found no fault in him, even though I think Preston would disagree and point to Christ as the only true example, as it should be. But let us all at least remember forever, God created a man that left a legacy to show the way to Christ. God gave us all someone to look up to. God truly molded through his grace and mercy, a hero. Preston, I miss you my friend, my brother in Christ. I'll see you on the other side, someday.

Banishing the Villain, Becoming a Hero (part 1)

I was watching a movie yesterday night, I gave it about a six, and started thinking about the antagonist of the story. You see, for some reason I thought about all of the dislike and hatred I had for this character throughout the story and wondered, why? Why do I not like this person? Is it because he is doing evil? Is it something much deeper? Contemplating this I went back to a class I took where an idea was put out on a similar matter. Sometimes we dislike or hate someone because when we see them we might see a part of ourselves, a part of ourselves that is painful. For instance, I am an intense person, duh!!! When I see another overly-intense person that person tends to get on my nerves. Now I admit that there are probably exceptions to this but for now I am not going down that rabbit trail. You have to wonder when we see villains in a movie, is our disgust of them more because of a disgust in ourselves and what we could be capable of. Maybe we just don’t want to take a look in that mirror and realize that that antagonist is really a mirror into our own being. Our souls have been corrupted, the only chance we have left is to reach out to God and be changed to a hero.

More to come later...

True Tragedy of a Lost Emotion (repost)

---Note-(So I caused just a little bit of controversy with this one the last time I posted it but I was looking at it and realized it should be put up again)

Think back to your first crush. The emotion, the anxiety we all feel, the funny looks you probably gave this person. Yet, you have to ask yourself, was it love? Is it love when we look at something or someone and find beauty? Is it love to feel "twitter-paitted" about someone? Is love merely romance? If not, what is true love?As I look back I believe I can say with confidence that love, real true love, is the only real emotion that we can trust. Even calling it an emotion is a crude way to put it and in no way defines it. The fact is, though, humanity has a very poor idea of love. The concept has been reduced to nothing but a physical attraction. No wonder the divorce rate is up. No wonder families are in chaos. No wonder people react to death all around us with, in most cases, apathy. There lies the problem, humanity is selfish and therefore doesn't care. When it comes down to it most people care about themselves more than others. Love should be about putting a person you love and care about above yourself. Love is caring about someone who isn't you. Does physical attraction play a part in romantic love? Of course, as it should. Yet God's idea of love transcend the ideas of romantic love. Romance is a part of the ideas of love in humanity but not all of it. Humans are more than just other beings with flesh, they are fellow people, potential brothers and sisters, perhaps future family. Some might not be believers, but all that means is that we should work as hard as we can to be examples of God's love and possibly help bring them back to the fold.So many times we talk in coffee shops, in church, in the news about tragedy. Hunger, war, poverty, injustice, its all tragic. I don't want to downplay these things, they are bad. But to make the statement that Christ in this day would care more about these issues than love and the progress of His kingdom, is an absurdity. People who make that assumption, might need to check their motives and step out of their own little world. There is a source to all of the hurt.The real human tragedy, relationships supposedly built on love are dying at alarming rates.The real human tragedy, our care for fellow humans have fallen down wht seems like a dark hole.The real human tragedy, the strong and popular (whatever that means) group and clique together while leaving the supposed weak behind to fall, alone.Take it from someone who had a pack mentality for years, cliques might share love between themselves, but they do not mirror Christ and therefore are wrong. Every human is on the same hotseat in front of God in the end. Everyone needs the same savior, one who knows what love really is and offers it freely. The real tragedy of humanity today is that we do not have a good idea of love, probably because we rejected and don't care for a God who created and showed us true love in the first place. That is something that is truly tragic.