Let it Out

Sometimes I think that guys are afraid to talk about emotion. Well usually I’m one of them, I don’t like to talk about feelings, it’s like pulling teeth with me. This blog has been one of the releases to me for a long time. Some people have gotten what I am really saying in my posts, and some don’t, but whatever. Sure, I say I feel this or I feel that a good chunk of the time, mostly its because I don’t know how else to put something. It’s not necessarily how I am feeling, and sometimes I don’t really want people knowing. Why? Trust, I don’t give out real trust to people very often. If you knew why you would understand, but that still doesn’t make it right. It’s something I have been working on for about a year, being able to trust people easier. One of the ways I work on that is understanding that hurt is a part of life. One of the reasons trust is a big deal for me, is because of betrayal and the hurt that follows. Pain will always be around in this world, we can’t let it run our lives. We need to let go and grow from it. Easier said then done I know. With God it can be done. It can’t be bottled up though and there is the issue.
Have you ever put too much soap into a washing machine? A little bit of soap is fine and is good, but putting in too much is not. When I started doing my own laundry I fell into this trap once. It was horrible, a huge mess. Later on I found out that it could have been worse. Did you know you could actually break a washer that way? Think about this strong washer, you put too much of something in it and let it run, only to get a mess. Now think about people who bottle in their feelings and emotions. Too much of it in and let it fester, it really does not matter how strong the person is you're going to get a mess. The pain and hurt always overflows and comes out. For a long time I thought of my emotions as something not to be trusted. They had gotten me into trouble more than once. So I kept them to myself. I let them get to be too much and some of my friends a few years ago noticed this. Slowly I started to see the error of my thinking. I thought emotion was bad and feared it as a threat to my strength, even though that fear was the real threat. I thought that reason and logic were the only good things from God left. Yet God is the one who gave us emotion in the first place, that line of thinking made no sense. It was then and now that I have had my eyes open to my folly. We aren’t supposed to live on just emotion, we aren’t supposed to live on just logic. We are to live in balance with our emotions and reason, both are from God. It is when we become extremists that we are in the wrong and cause ourselves more struggle then needed.
It is when we let our fear of our emotions or our logic dictate our actions that we are in deep trouble. We cannot let fear dictate our lives. Too many times we are so afraid of getting hurt that we hide our feeling and don’t take risk. Life is built on taking some risk with the acknowledgement that God is guiding your path. What may seem like risk to us is just part of the plan to God. So what is the point in fearing tomorrow, or fearing emotion? If we balance our emotion and reason with the very Word of God then we will see. We will see that nowhere in scripture does it say emotion is evil or something to be hid away. We will see in the Word that God right now has put people in your life to help you in your struggle. Bring it out, search the Word, talk about it, give it to God, get help from people and be there for people. But don’t ever let your emotions or reason go against the Word of God, and don’t ever bottle them up thinking they will go away. Sometimes our emotions get to be too much, it hurts, we go to pastors to counselors for help, and that is ok. Just don’t ever go it alone, don’t ever hide it, for hiding it will only makes it worse.
I have been called strong by some before, I did wonder if it was true or not. It was recently that I begun questioning that aspect. I write now with a new thinking of what strength is. True strength is given by God and God alone, we build it up through His Word, and one of the ways it manifests itself is through balancing our mind and emotions using Scripture as guidance. Not fearing what might come tomorrow, for tomorrow will come but relying on God to help us get along day by day. Looking back on the times of struggle in our lives, seeing how God has brought us through those times, with hope and confidence that He will always be there for us good or bad.
Signed
The Unsilent Pastor’s Kid

P.S. If you want more there are a couple books that I have been reading that have really Biblically based and really helped me a lot. If you want them send me a message and I will get them to you. I recommend reading both of them.

Polishing God’s Monuments: Jim Andrews- Book written on suffering, and where God is when we are hurting. Great book to read for anybody, very inspirational.

Faith and Feelings: Brian Borgman- Just got finished reading this one and changed some of my opinions on emotions. I highly recommend this book if you are questioning what place emotions have in a Believer’s life.

A Cry for Conviction

I’m not going to lie, these last few weeks have been hard. I don’t really know why it has been this way at this point in time. It is like this whether I like it or not though. All I can really do is roll with the punches. It always seems that when I have a question that gets answered ten more come up out of nowhere. The more questions that I have the more I instinctively try to retreat to my insecurity, my false reality of some sense of control. Every bit of the insecure side of me wants control, but it cannot be. It never can be this way. Because the reality is there is no control. This is the greatest thing that could ever happen to us, to be so out of power in life. To realize that someone else is in the drivers seat and we are merely passengers. It is at this point that we can escape insecurity, when we let go. Let go of fear.
Throughout these last couple weeks I have realized something, not only about myself but everything in general. I could go on and on about myself, but self-centeredness will only feed my ego. If I could choose a beginning point to these realizations it would be at a point in time where I viewed a certain video. This video is called Revival Hymn (it is on my wall, or just watch it on YouTube, highly recommend watching all of it, it will open your eyes). This video brought forth something I found very troubling. The majority of the church as we know it is falling to ruins. There is a lack of a great many things. I believe the church has been poisoned by people who claim to be part of us, they are really wolves in sheep’s clothing. People who play church, people who go to church looking to have their weekly dose of positive spirituality. People who reduce our faith to nothing more than a good emotional experience. What’s worse is that there are leaders out there supporting this view of “church.” I have seen pastors who are afraid of people being offended by the Gospel, the very gospel that saved them. Pastors who are changing the very basics of our faith just so they can be liked by the people that hate us. Where are the pastors who preached the full Gospel with courage? Where are the leaders who had some conviction in their voice? Where are the people who were more concerned with offending God then offending people? These leaders are becoming more few in number by the day. I long for the day when we stand unafraid as one, with one conviction. The truth that we are all sinners, we are all part of this evil humanity, and that Christ is the only one who can save us. I long for the day where our faith is seen as more then just affirming a few intellectual statements. I long for the day when the leaders of conviction become great in number once again, so that people will be changed and not just comfortable.
If you feel the same, what are you going to do about it? Are you really going to sit back and let truth be spat upon in favor of complacency? Are you going to let people turn your church into a place where the Bible takes a back seat to over-sensitivity? Listen, the Gospel will be offensive to some people, the question is are you courageous enough to speak out anyway?
As for me I will speak and look to the sky for my Vindicator asking Him, “How long O Lord will You let this continue? How long until You cleanse Your pulpit of the filth of cowardice? How much longer will You allow people to make light of Your holiness and justice?”